Can Extramarital Affairs Be True Love?

So, your affair has been fun and passionate, but you’ve started to catch deeper feelings and want to know if they feel the same? We get you! But can extramarital affairs be true love? And how do you know if they love you?

It’s natural to want to be loved no matter what form your romantic relationships take, so knowing what signs to look out for can help you feel more fulfilled in your relationship.

We’ve outlined the top 10 signs their infatuation has turned to love so you can see where your relationship is heading.

Can True Love Happen in Extra Marital Affairs?

Affairs can sometimes lead to true love because love doesn’t always follow rules or fit into neat boxes. Relationships are complicated, and connections can form in unexpected ways, even in situations that go against societal norms.

While extramarital affairs are often seen as taboo, it’s important to approach the topic with an open mind. The emotions that come with these situations can sometimes grow into deep, meaningful love. 

Love often surprises us and doesn’t always stick to traditional boundaries.

10 Undeniable Signs Your Affair Partner Loves You

We all want to know that we’re loved no matter what form our relationships take. Knowing that your affair partner loves you can be reassuring and validate your own feelings towards them.

Here are the top 10 signs your affair partner loves you:

#1 They Think About You All The Time

If your affair partner can’t stop thinking about you, it’s a pretty clear sign they have strong feelings. 

When someone’s thoughts keep circling back to you – whether it’s about your conversations, shared moments, or even imagining a future together – it shows there’s a real emotional connection.

It’s not just about physical attraction; it means you’re on their mind in a meaningful way. This kind of constant preoccupation is a sign that you hold a special place in their heart and that their feelings for you run deep.

#2 They Want to Spend More Time With You

When your affair partner says they want to spend more time with you, it’s a pretty clear sign their feelings are getting deeper. Wanting to hang out and share meaningful moments shows they really value your company and enjoy being around you.

Check out our list of Best Places to Meet for Affairs to give you some inspiration and keep things fresh and fun!

#3 They’re Becoming Distanced From Their Partner

When your affair partner starts pulling away emotionally and physically from their partner, it might be a sign their feelings for you are getting stronger. As your connection grows, they could find it harder to stay as close to their partner as they used to.

This might look like less communication, not wanting to spend as much time together, or just feeling more distant.

It’s important to handle this carefully – being distant from their partner coupled with spending more time with you increases the risk of you being caught.

#4 They Tell You How Understood They Feel With You

If your affair partner tells you how much you understand them, it’s a clear sign they’ve got strong feelings for you. Feeling understood is an intense form of intimacy that builds strong emotional connections.

When someone feels like you “get” them, they feel seen and accepted in a way that’s rare to find with another person and may even be something they don’t feel with their spouse.

#5 They Start Messaging You More Frequently

Messaging is a tricky beast when you’re having an affair because it’s easy to get caught by a spouse, so when your affair partner starts messaging you more frequently or at different times of the day, you’ve become more important in their life.

Not only do more frequent messages show they want to talk to you more often, but it’s also a sign that they’re less concerned about hiding your relationship because they love you.

#6 They Start Talking About Your Future Together

Extramarital affairs are often a spontaneous and short-lived passionate connection, but when it turns to love, you begin to think more long-term.

If your partner starts talking about dates, meet-ups, and trips in the future, it can be a sign they’re falling in love with you.

Talking about your future together may or may not involve conversations about them leaving their spouse, but this should always be taken with a grain of salt, because it’s much easier said than done (especially when they’re infatuated).

#7 They’re Intimate With You More Than Their Partner

Physical intimacy is a huge part of extramarital affairs and even plays a role in some emotional affairs. Being intimate with you more often than with their partner can be a sign they love you and want to be with you more.

However, many affairs begin because of a lack of intimacy in the primary relationship, so if this has been the case since the start of your affair, it’s best not to read too much into it.

#8 They Have Lots of Photos With You in Their Phone

While being secretive is key to a lasting affair, it’s not uncommon to take the odd photograph together, especially if you spend extended periods of time apart and miss each other. 

However, if they have lots of photos with you on their phone (whether hidden or not), it’s a sign they want to be able to see your face often because they love you.

Again, this can be a slippery slope and should be discussed if you’re concerned about being caught. They don’t have to delete them, but having them in a secret folder is a good idea.

#9 They Reveal More Personal Details About Themselves

Many affairs rarely get beyond surface level because of the nature of the relationship, but if your partner begins to divulge more personal information about themselves, especially their childhood, it’s a sign they’re getting more serious about you.

This can be a great way to connect on a deeper level and lead to conversations where you express your true feelings for each other.

#10 They Tell You They Love You

The top sign that your affair partner loves you is, of course, that they tell you! 

Being told that you’re loved by your affair partner is a huge deal because it means they’re getting serious about you, and it could change the nature of your relationship.

Being told that you’re loved is a wonderful feeling that we all want, but it’s important to have some serious conversations about what it means for your affair and where it’s heading.

How Long Do Extramarital Affairs Usually Last?

Extramarital affairs can last anywhere from a few months to years, though it really depends on the people involved and the situation. Most of the time, they’re relatively short-lived, but there’s no one-size-fits-all answer – some can go on much longer.

Things like emotional attachment, satisfaction (or lack of it) in the primary relationship, and how well the affair is kept secret all play a big role in how long it lasts. External factors, like getting caught or major life changes, can also bring an affair to an end.

You can read more about how long affairs last in our in-depth post that covers average lengths and reasons for affairs to end.

Can an Extramarital Affair That Turns to Love Last?

Yes, an extramarital affair that turns into a genuine love connection can last. Affairs are complicated and often seen as taboo, but they can sometimes lead to personal growth and self-discovery.

When two people find deep emotional and intellectual compatibility outside their main relationship, it can create a strong and lasting connection.

That said, making such a relationship work takes a lot of open communication, honesty, and a willingness to deal with the challenges and consequences that come with it.

At the end of the day, any relationship – inside or outside of marriage – needs empathy, respect, and care for everyone involved.

Summary: Can Affairs Lead to True Love?

Affairs can sometimes turn into true love, but it really depends on the people and the situation. If there’s a deep emotional and intellectual connection, it can lead to something real and lasting.

You can find more advice and tips for how to have a fun and fulfilling extramarital affair with the Illicit Encounters blog.

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