When Affairs Turn To Love

Our Expert Advice For When Affairs Turn To Love: Should You Break It Off?

The moment you realise you might be catching some serious feelings for your affair partner can be a little scary. When affairs turn to love, it can be difficult to know what you should do. Should you break it off? Or should you pursue the relationship?

If you have been having an affair for a while, it can very easily turn into something serious. Especially if you are having issues in your current relationship, falling in love with someone who actually makes you happy can happen very quickly. When this happens, it can make you feel nervous and anxious, and you may be unsure what to do. 

In this article, we will explore this issue and give you some advice as to what you should do when an affair turns serious. The first step is being able to identify the signs that you are catching feelings. So, follow along to find out more.

What are the Signs an Affair is Getting Serious?

Having an affair can be a risky process. As well as the risk of your partner finding out, you may also run the risk of developing strong feelings for your affair partner. So, what exactly are the signs that your affair is turning serious? Let’s explore this further. 

1. You Find Yourself Thinking about them Constantly

If you find you are daydreaming about them and they’re occupying your thoughts 24/7, then there’s good chance you are catching feelings. Falling in love with someone can take time, but one of the most common signs is thinking about them constantly and wanting to always make plans with them. 

2. You Feel Connected to Them on a Deeper Level

In order to develop these strong feelings for someone, you must be able to connect with them on a deeper level. It could be that you both share the same views on things, or perhaps you just have great chemistry. Having that deep connection can be really impactful, and it can may you fall deeply in love, very quickly. 

3. You Feel Secure when You Are with Them

Feeling secure is essential for any healthy relationship, and if you find that your affair partner makes you feel safe and secure, then this could be a sign that things are getting serious. You may find that when you are around them, you are super comfortable and happy, which indicates that there are strong feelings involved

4. You Are Willing to Discuss Sensitive Topics

It can take a lot to open up to someone, particularly when you are having an affair with them. However, if you find that you can easily discuss sensitive topics with your affair partner and you trust them with your deepest secrets, then this is a sure sign things are getting serious. 

5. You Plan for Long-term

Making long-term plans with your affair partner is one of the most obvious signs that you are developing feelings for them. If you can see a future with them in it and you want to start sharing more of your life with them, then it’s clear that the relationship has progressed to something more serious. 

6. Your Affair Has Been Going on for a Long Time

Casual affairs and casual encounters usually only last a few months. Most people have an affair to let off steam because they are not happy in their current relationship, but if your affair is getting up to the year mark and you only see it progressing further, there is no denying that strong feelings are involved. 

It’s thought that around 50% of affairs may last between one month to one year, so anything beyond this might suggest there are some deeper feelings involved – even if you’re not aware of them yet.

Is it Normal to Catch Feelings for Your Affair Partner?

While some people believe that affairs should be kept casual, if you are spending a lot of time with someone you really like, then it is only natural that you start to develop strong emotional bonds. Just because you are in a relationship with someone else doesn’t mean you cannot develop feelings for another person. 

It is very easy to form a deep, emotional connection with someone when you enjoy their company and connect with them on an emotional and physical level. It is completely to catch feelings for your affair partner, so you should never feel pressured or worried that your feelings are invalid. 

What Should I Do When Affairs Turn to Love?

Once you start recognising the signs of catching feelings for your affair partner, you need to take direct action. As with any type of relationship, open communication is essential if you want things to work, so it is very important that you do not ignore your feelings and just hope that they go away. 

1. Be Honest About Your Feelings with Your Affair Partner

The first thing you will need to do is be honest about your feelings with your affair partner. If things have got to the stage where you have developed feelings, then you should be more than comfortable discussing these feelings with your affair partner. 

Sit them down and have an open discussion about how you feel and what you want moving forward.

2. Understand the Consequences that Could Arise

There is no guarantee that your affair partner will like you back. As harsh as it sounds, sometimes feelings only work one way, so you must be prepared for things not to be reciprocated. 

Additionally, you must understand the consequences that could arise in your relationship. If you have fallen for your affair partner, what does that mean for your other partner and that relationship?

3. Reassess Your Relationship Goals – Are You Really Only Looking for an Affair?

Take some time and think about your future. If, when you envision the future, you think about spending it with your affair partner, then it is clear you are looking for more than just an affair. While you may not have intended for things to go this way, ultimately, there is nothing you can do about it now, so just be honest with yourself and work out what you want. 

4. Talk to Your Affair Partner About What They Want, Too

As well as understanding what you want, you must also acknowledge your affair partner’s feelings. The relationship is a two-way street, so it’s important that you give your affair partner the chance to ask what they want from this situation. With any luck, they may want the same thing!

Can an Affair Ever Turn into Something More Serious?

Affairs can definitely turn into something more serious. If both people are honest about their feelings and both want the relationship to turn serious, then an affair can turn into a long-term relationship. 

In order for this to work, though, both parties must be fully committed. You both need to agree on what should happen moving forward, particularly when it comes to your other relationships. If one of you is ready to break up with your partner, but the other one isn’t, then the relationship will remain an affair

You both need to break up with your partners at the same time; otherwise, things cannot continue. This is why it is so important that you have a lengthy discussion and that you are completely honest about your true feelings. 

Honesty and good communication are really the only ways to turn an affair into something more serious. So don’t be afraid to speak up!

The Roundup: What Should You Do When Affairs Turn to Love?

It’s important to recognise the signs of an affair turning serious. If you’re constantly thinking about your affair partner and you can see a long-term future with them, then there is a high chance that you have caught feelings. It is completely normal for this to happen, especially when you are spending so much time with them! 

When this happens, it is important that you are open and honest about your feelings. Talk to your affair partner about how you feel and see if they feel the same way. If they do, then you both need to break up with your respective partners in order for the relationship to progress. 


Are emotional affairs real love?

While not every emotional affair will be real love, there will also be times when an emotional affair leads to strong feelings. If you are spending a lot of time with someone and you connect with them on a deep level, then it is only natural for strong feelings to develop. Just because you are not physically intimate with someone, does not mean you don’t love them.

Why do some affairs last for years?

Every long-term affair is different some affairs last because both parties are happy with the casual nature of the relationship, and some last because there are strong feelings involved. Having an affair will not always lead to love, but it can in some cases. If you are having a long-term affair, it is always best to reflect on the relationship and determine if things have become serious. 

How long do affairs normally last for?

Some affairs only last for weeks, whereas others can last for years. The only thing that determines how long an affair will last is the people involved. If both people are happy to continue the relationship over a few years, then things will just keep going until someone wants to stop. Like any type of relationship, it’s best to always talk about your feelings so everyone remains happy. 

Can affairs turn into real relationships?

If both parties have developed feelings and want to commit long-term, then affairs can absolutely turn into relationships. There is no rulebook that dictates that affairs must remain casual, as in some cases, people fall in love. Spending time with someone you really connect with is an easy way to develop strong emotional bonds, so it is no wonder why so many affairs turn into relationships. 

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