20 Surprising Reasons Why Cheating Husbands Stay Married

From the outside, it can be hard to understand why cheating husbands stay married if they’re not happy in the relationship. While every relationship and marriage is different, there are actually a few surprising reasons why husbands stay in a committed relationship while they’re cheating.

Whether you’re a married man wondering why you can’t leave your spouse despite infidelity or you’re an outsider looking for a new perspective, we’ve got you covered with our list of 20 reasons why married men stay with their spouse while being unfaithful.

Why Do Married Men Cheat in the First Place?

There are various and intricate reasons behind infidelity among married men, often originating from emotional, psychological, or situational factors.

At times, it may stem from dissatisfaction or deficiencies in the marital relationship, which could be related to intimacy, emotions, or communication.

On other occasions, it might be driven by personal struggles with self-esteem or a craving for novelty and excitement.

Understanding these complexities can shed light on the motivations behind dating while married or having an affair. It’s important to remember every person and relationship is one-of-a-kind, which means they deserve a tailored approach and intervention that fits their unique needs.

Why Do Cheating Husbands Stay Married?

One of the most common questions asked by spouses, friends, and family is why do cheating husbands stay married? While there are many answers to this question that are unique to each individual situation, there are a few surprising reasons why some men choose to stay married and start an affair.

#1 Social Stigma

Despite living in a relatively progressive society where lifestyles like polyamory are becoming more accepted, there’s still a huge social stigma that surrounds cheating.  Men may feel a sense of shame or embarrassment if they’re caught cheating, which can lead to them staying in the marriage to save face.

It can also be a means of protecting professional and personal relationships.

#2 Financial Reasons

The financial impact of a divorce can be a common but surprising reason why a cheating husband might choose to stay married.

When the primary relationship ends, it can be expensive for both parties, especially if child support is involved. A married man may choose to protect himself and his spouse from financial hardship caused by a separation.

#3 It’s Convenient

Let’s be honest, staying in your relationship is a much easier option than deciding to split.  When you consider the emotional turmoil, potential legal battles, and change of living arrangements, it can seem much more appealing to stay in the relationship and carry on with an affair discreetly.

Also, being creatures of habit, we’re much more inclined to stay in our comfort zone than change things up.

#4 Hope For the Future

When people cheat, it isn’t necessarily the end of the relationship. Many men and women have lapses in their fidelity for a plethora of reasons, but that doesn’t mean things can’t get better.

Many husbands stay married during their extramarital affairs because they have hope that things will get better in the future and their relationship can improve.

#5 They Love Their Spouse

It’s easy to equate cheating with a lack of love, but one of the most common reasons men stay married is because they still love their spouse. They may be in a sexless marriage or suffering from emotional pain, but the love for their spouse is still there, and they don’t want to lose that.

#6  They Feel Guilty

With the social stigma that still surrounds cheating, when people cheat, they feel guilty.  It’s not uncommon for men who have had extramarital affairs to feel guilty about their actions, which can lead to them staying in the marriage and trying to make things work as a way of making amends.

#7 They’re Staying For the Children

This reason might be surprising for many of you, but staying in an unhappy, unfulfilling relationship is common when children are involved. Men will stay with their spouses to avoid causing emotional distress to their children despite having multiple affairs with other women.

#8 They’re in Denial About Their Marriage

Starting an emotional or sexual relationship with another person while you’re in a relationship is a surefire sign that something isn’t right.

Whether you’re missing emotional intimacy in the marriage or lacking sexual satisfaction, starting a secret affair isn’t a healthy coping mechanism. This denial about the state of their marriage can cause a lot of men to stay in their committed relationship.

#9 They Don’t Have Anywhere to Go

Many men are likely to stay in a marriage when they don’t have anywhere to go. Leaving a relationship, even when having a sexual relationship with someone else, can be difficult. Having to find a new place to live can be a challenge that encourages men to stay married.

#10 They Want to Maintain Their Professional Image

Although it’s becoming rarer, there are still professions where your image is directly linked to your career trajectory. Having a relationship break down because of your sexual behaviour can be embarrassing and affect work relationships.

In such industries, married men who are having an affair may be inclined to stay married to project the appropriate image for their line of work.

#11 They’re Concerned About Being Judged

Whether the affair featured an emotional connection or it was just sex, a cheating spouse can feel judged by their friends, family, and colleagues if their marriage ends because of an affair. 

This judgment can be especially difficult if the couple has been together for a long time and their relationship is part of their identity.

#12 They Feel Their Spouse is Dependent on Them

It’s still the case that women tend to be the lower earners in a relationship. This can lead to married men believing that their spouse is dependent on them for housing or maintaining the lifestyle they’re used to. This can cause men to stay with their spouse even though they’re cheating on their long-term relationship.

#13 They Share Joint Investments With Their Spouse

Many marriages involve joint investments, such as having a mortgage together. These legal and financial ties can make the decision to leave much harder.  

Husbands may choose to stay in the marriage to protect their financial interests and avoid any legal complications that could arise from a divorce.

#14 They Want to Avoid Legal Battles

Choosing to separate when you’re married is a huge decision. Your lives are so tightly interwoven that separating everything out can be a lengthy and costly process, especially when it comes to legally separating.

This is particularly true if the spouse can prove their husband cheated when it comes to ending the current relationship.

#15 They Don’t Want to Let Go of Their Shared History

Ending a long-term relationship can leave a significant emotional void. This can cause a deep sense of loss, especially when there are many shared memories and experiences.

Men may stay with their spouses because they’re afraid of losing these connections and the history they built together, even if their sexual desire isn’t being met. It begs the question, can an affair ever have a happy ending?

#16 They Don’t Want to Lose Mutual Friends

When you’re married, your lives intertwine in unexpected ways. Your friend groups are likely to mesh together, and the subsequent relationships you form can be harder to keep if you split up.

Leaving your spouse can mean losing these friends, which is why some men choose to stay in the marriage despite their infidelity.

#17 They’re in Denial About Their Cheating

Sometimes, cheating husbands choose to stay with their spouse because they’re in denial about their cheating. This can be common with emotional affairs or online cheating, as it might not feel as serious as physical cheating. 

By staying in their marriage, they avoid facing the truth about their actions and can increase the risk factors of future infidelity.

#18 They Have Low Self-Esteem

Many men who cheat actually have poor self-esteem and low self-worth. Not only can this be the cause of their serial infidelity, but it can also be one of the key reasons that they choose to stay in their marriage. They likely feel that they can’t find someone better than their spouse, even though they don’t deserve them.

#19 They’re Concerned About Their Spouse’s Well-Being

Not every cheating partner is a narcissist. There are some husbands who have cheated on their wives and now feel guilty about the consequences of having an affair. This includes how it could affect the mental health or well-being of their partner if they were to leave.

#20 They’re Scared of the Unknown

Being scared of the unknown is a major reason men report staying with their wives after cheating. This is particularly common if the relationship started when the spouses were young, and it’s all they’ve known. Starting again can be scarier than remaining in an unfulfilling marriage.

Start Your Extramarital Affair With Illicit Encounters

The dynamics behind why cheating husbands choose to stay married can be incredibly complex and vary greatly from one individual to another. 

If you’re a married man considering cheating on your spouse, or if you’ve already started having an affair, it’s important to understand and address the underlying issues in your marriage.

However, if you decide to pursue an extramarital affair, make sure to do so responsibly and discreetly with Illicit Encounters. Our platform provides a safe and confidential space for married individuals to explore their desires and find excitement outside of their marriage.

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