We’ve all been there, we’ve had a little bit too much to drink, and we get carried away talking to someone we fancy. In the moment, we know it’s exactly what we want to do, but that doesn’t stop feelings of guilt or wondering if our relationship will survive.
Engaging in a drunken kiss doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is doomed. It’s important to keep in mind that alcohol can lower inhibitions and lead us to make decisions we may not have made while sober. However, it’s also important to take responsibility for our actions and address the situation with our partner.
If you’re worried about the effect of your drunken kiss on your relationship, look no further for everything you need to know about how to deal with the situation.
Here’s a handy overview of how to move past a drunken kiss with your significant other:
| Key steps to moving past a drunken kiss: Be honest with your partner. Take time to talk about it Be patient with your partner Listen to your partner Make your intentions for your relationship clear |
Read on to find out more about how to navigate this situation.
Is a Drunken Kiss Significant?
This is somewhat of an abstract question. If you’re concerned about what a drunk kiss means for your relationship and whether it’s acceptable behaviour, the only person who can answer these questions is your partner.
For some people, drunk kisses are nothing more than a slip in behaviour that you’ll barely remember in a few months. For others, it can be considered cheating and can result in broken trust.
Even if your partner is in the latter group, it doesn’t mean your relationship is over, especially if you have a healthy relationship to begin with.
Factors That Determine a Relationship’s Success Rate After a Drunk Kiss
There are many factors that help determine the success rate of your relationship after a drunk kiss happens. It’s important to note that none of these factors on their own hold a huge amount of weight, but they can add up to make a drunken kiss harder to move past.
| Trust levels Communication between partners The intention of the kiss The relationship between parties Levels of commitment Desire to fight for the relationship |
1. Trust Levels
One of the biggest factors that contribute to the success rate of your relationship is the amount of trust you have.
If you have high levels of trust in your relationship, a drunken kiss isn’t likely to shake things up too badly. As long as you’re open and honest with your partner about what happened and your intent, you may even find you come out the other side with a stronger connection.
If there are lower levels of trust in your relationship, a drunk kiss can have a more significant effect.
2. Communication Between Partners
Regardless of your trust levels, you need to have strong communication in your relationship to be able to work on things and move past the kiss.
[quote] “The key to improving communications is to uncover each other’s emotional needs.” – The Couples Center
Being completely honest with your partner is key to helping your relationship survive your drunken kiss. Tell your significant other exactly what happened without waiting for them to have suspicions to give your relationship the best chance.
Remember that communication goes both ways, and you need to listen to how your partner is feeling, how they understand the situation, and what they want to do moving forward.
3. The Intention of the Kiss
This is something that only you can attest to when it comes to the future success of your relationship. The intent behind the kiss will be make or break for you and your partner.
If the kiss meant absolutely nothing and happened one night with an old friend because of alcohol consumption, your chances of saving your relationship are high.
On the other hand, if the kiss had suppressed feelings behind it, especially if those feelings are mutual, it can be much harder to save your relationship.
4. The Relationship Between Parties
As well as the intention of the kiss, the people involved in it can be a big deal in terms of helping your relationship survive.
If the person you kissed was someone you’re close to in everyday, real life, it can make things messier for you and your partner.
If the person was someone you have expressed feelings for or have had a relationship with in the past, it can be difficult to come back from.
If the person was just another person at a party or club with no history or feelings between you, there’s a high chance your relationship will survive.
5. Levels of Commitment
The level of commitment between you and your partner is a huge determining factor in the success of your relationship after a drunk kiss. If you’re in a solid, committed relationship, it’s going to be easier to work together to move past the kiss.
If either party is waning in their commitment, the kiss can highlight existing cracks in your relationship that should be addressed.
6. Genuine Desire to Fight For the Relationship
This links in with the levels of commitment between you and your significant other. The more committed you are to each other, the more likely you are to have a genuine desire to save the relationship. The more you want to save your committed relationship, the more likely it is to work.
How to Tell Your Partner About a Drunk Kiss
Waking up after sharing drunken kisses with someone can feel horrible, especially when you think about having to tell your partner. While this can be a daunting prospect, it’s important that you tell them what happened before someone else does to reduce the repercussions.
You should also tell your partner everything to allow them to make an informed decision about how they want to move forward with your relationship.
Here are our top tips for telling your partner after you’ve drunk-kissed someone:
- Be honest with your partner as soon as possible after the kiss. Waiting can be seen as deception and cause trust issues.
- Take time to sit down one-on-one to talk about it. Sharing something that may be considered cheating shouldn’t be done in passing.
- Try and keep your emotions calm. This is much easier said than done, but it can help avoid unnecessary escalation, which is unhelpful.
- Listen to your partner. They’re probably going to have a lot of feelings about what happened. Working through them is a process, and listening to your partner can help you both get on the same page.
- Make your intentions clear. For your partner, hearing about the drunk kiss can be confusing and unsettling. Letting them know how you want to progress with your relationship can help reassure them that there’s somewhere to go with this new information.
How to Move Past a Drunken Kiss
Once you’ve told your partner about the drunk kiss, it’s time to work towards moving past it together. This can be a long process, and you’ll need to be patient with each other. Here are some steps that can help you along the way:
Be Open and Honest
You need to be open and honest with your partner about what happened. Hiding things, even to protect their feelings, can make it more difficult to move on and avoid trust issues.
Avoid placing blame on your alcohol consumption. Although it was probably a driving factor in your decision to kiss someone else, it’ll just sound like an excuse to avoid taking responsibility.
Be Patient
Even in the most healthy relationship, hearing that your boyfriend or girlfriend kissed someone else can be difficult, whether it’s considered cheating or not.
Once you’ve told your significant other what happened, it’s up to them to set the pace for fixing your relationship. Even when you’ve decided to fight for your relationship, the process often isn’t linear, and you may face setbacks in trust and communication.
Remember what it is you’re fighting for and give your partner the time and space they need to heal.
Listen to Your Partner
Acknowledge your partner’s feelings about the event and validate them. Your partner may feel hurt, angry, or betrayed by what happened. It’s important that you give them space to feel these things to help them process everything.
Your partner may also have some boundaries they wish to set in order to rebuild trust. This can be tricky to navigate for both of you. Asking you not to drink alcohol when you’re in certain settings or around certain people is fairly reasonable. Asking you to cut an old friend or colleague from your life is not reasonable and should be discussed further.
Drunken Kisses Aren’t a Death Knell for Your Relationship
A drunk kiss can feel like a big deal in the moment, and it’s natural to worry about the future of your relationship. With that said, drunk kisses don’t have to spell the end of your relationship. With strong communication and acknowledgement of your mistake, there’s a good chance your relationship can come out the other side and continue to thrive.
If you’re feeling dissatisfied in your relationship and you’re seeking something to bring that spark back, sign up for Illicit Encounters today.
FAQs
Does a Drunken Kiss Mean I Cheated On My Partner?
This is something that can only be determined by you and your partner. Cheating is very subjective, and while some people might view it as a big deal and class it as cheating, others might not be as bothered and can move past it quite quickly. The only way to find out is to be honest with your significant other.
Why Did I Drunkingly Kiss Someone Else?
Reasons why you drunkenly kissed someone else are incredibly vast, but one of the biggest is dissatisfaction in your current relationship – whether you are aware of it or not. If you’re feeling a lack of physical or emotional connection from your partner, you’re likely to seek that out from other sources, i.e. other people. It’s important to take a step back and evaluate your feelings in your current relationship. Should you continue, or should you look elsewhere?
How Should I Communicate With My Partner About a Drunken Kiss?
The most important thing when communicating about drunk kisses is to be as open as possible. While it can be tempting to conceal details to save your significant other from unnecessary hurt, it can make it harder to move forward if they eventually find those details out or if they suspect you of being cagey.
Featured Image by ©narvik (from Getty Images Signature) via Canva.com
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