If you’re going through a rough patch in your marriage, it can sometimes start to feel like there’s nothing you can do to save it. But that doesn’t have to be the case! There are many ways to learn how to save your marriage, and we’re here to help you find that spark again.
Whether it’s the first hardship of your relationship or it’s the roughest patch in your 30 year marriage, there are plenty of steps you can take to help save your marriage before calling it quits.
We’ve outlined our top tips to help you revive your marriage, including some unconventional approaches that can have huge success!
How to Save a Failing Marriage: Our 9 Top Tips
Acknowledging that your marriage is struggling can be difficult, but it’s the first step towards pulling it back from the brink. Couples can even come back stronger after a tough period!
Here are our top tips for saving your failing marriage.
| Note: Both partners need to accept that there’s something wrong with the relationship for many of these tips to work. Having a conversation about the state of your marriage is an important first step in getting things back on track. |
1. Give Couples Therapy a Try
If you’ve confided in the internet or loved ones, you’ve probably heard this advice already, so we’ll get it out of the way first.
When you’re struggling to communicate with your partner about the issues in your marriage, getting professional help can build the bridge you need to fix your communication issues and get to the heart of any significant issues.
| There are plenty of couples therapists and counsellors working in the UK. Check out the Psychosexual & Relationship Therapy Register from The College of Sexual & Relationship Therapists. |
2. Revisit the Vows You Made
The vows you made on your wedding day were meant to guide you through your relationship, but let’s be honest – sometimes they’re not so easy to stick to, especially if you went with the traditional ones.
Sure, “in sickness and in health” or “for richer or poorer” might feel pretty straightforward, but “to have and to hold“? That can get tricky when life throws stress, family obligations, or kids into the mix.
Taking some time to think about your vows and how they show up in your marriage can help you spot areas that might need a little extra love and attention. It’s all about working together to strengthen those promises.
3. Remember Why You Fell in Love With Them
When things get tough in your marriage, it can really help to remind yourself why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place.
Thinking back on those moments can bring you back to the qualities that made them so special to you, helping you feel more empathy and understanding.
It’s easy to lose sight of those traits when stress or conflict gets in the way, but reflecting on them can spark that sense of connection again. It can even make it easier to be patient and see your partner in a kinder light.
| Some things we commonly fall in love with include: • Kindness • Sense of humour • Empathy • Self-confidence • Intelligence |
4. Communicate Openly & Honestly
Good communication is everything in a strong marriage. It’s about sharing your feelings, needs, and worries without feeling judged.
When you’re open with each other, trust and understanding grow, and tackling problems together gets so much easier.
But if you avoid issues or keep things bottled up, it can lead to misunderstandings and resentment – who needs that extra stress? Being honest creates a safe space where you both feel heard and valued.
5. Practice Forgiveness to Avoid Grudges
Forgiveness is such an important part of keeping a relationship healthy and full of love. It’s not just about letting go of the big stuff but also the little things – like forgetting to take out the rubbish bins or saying something snappy in a moment of frustration.
If you don’t forgive those small annoyances, they can build up over time and turn into resentment, which isn’t good for anyone.
By choosing to forgive quickly and sincerely, you create a space for understanding and kindness, so minor disagreements don’t turn into major issues.
| Our top tips for practising active forgiveness: • Communicate openly: Share your feelings calmly and honestly with your partner. Expressing how their actions affected you can pave the way for understanding and resolution. • Listen with empathy: Allow your partner to explain their perspective without interrupting. By actively listening, you can better understand their intentions and emotions. • Focus on the present: Avoid bringing up past mistakes during disagreements. Concentrate on addressing the current situation to foster growth and healing. • Practice self-reflection: Take time to understand your own emotions and reactions. Recognising your role in the relationship helps you forgive more genuinely and build a stronger connection. |
6. Focus on Making the Future Bright
When you’re going through a tough time with your partner, planning a happy future together can make a big difference. It gives you both something positive to work toward and brings you closer as a team.
Setting goals and imagining a brighter future helps rebuild your relationship while making sure both of you feel heard and valued.
Plus, it shifts your focus away from past arguments and negative feelings, creating space for trust, love, and commitment to grow again.
7. Learn to Let the Little Things Go
Letting go of the little things is so important for keeping a relationship happy and healthy. When you let minor annoyances or small disagreements get to you, it can create unnecessary resentment that might build up over time and turn into bigger problems.
But by choosing to let those small frustrations slide, you stop them from snowballing and avoid resentment. It also creates a more positive vibe in the relationship, making both partners feel more comfortable and respected.
When you focus on what really matters and don’t sweat the small stuff, you make room for patience, understanding, and a stronger connection.
8. Ignore Outside Opinions on Your Relationship
Friends and family usually mean well, but their opinions on your marriage can sometimes do more harm than good, so it’s best to avoid airing your issues. They don’t always get the full picture of your relationship, so even if their advice comes from a good place, it might not really fit your situation.
On top of that, too many outside opinions can just add to the confusion or make things worse. Their perspectives, even if unintentional, can create tension or bias between you and your partner.
At the end of the day, it’s better to focus on the connection between you and your spouse. That’s where the real work happens – finding solutions that actually work for your unique relationship.
9. Make Sure Your Needs Are Met With Married Dating
Taking care of your emotional, physical, and psychological needs is key to keeping a healthy, happy relationship. When those needs get overlooked, it can lead to frustration or even resentment over time.
That’s where married dating comes in – it’s a chance to find people who understand what you’re feeling and are also looking to have their needs met outside their relationship.
Make sure you explore married dating through a reputable platform like Illicit Encounters to ensure a discreet experience that can help your marriage rather than hinder it further.
How Does a Married Affair Help a Marriage?
When your needs aren’t being met in a marriage, it’s easy to feel disconnected and unfulfilled. For some, exploring a discreet affair becomes a way to meet those needs without ending the marriage.
By finding an outlet for these desires, they might feel happier, more confident, and emotionally grounded. Surprisingly, this can even bring renewed energy and patience to their primary relationship.
Meeting your needs in this way could help you show up as a more attentive and balanced partner, creating a sense of harmony – even if it’s a bit unconventional.
| Disclaimer: Having an affair isn’t for everyone. It’s not a substitute for working on or ending a marriage. Affairs can sometimes have a positive impact, but they can also be harmful. Always think about the people involved, and if you do decide to have an affair, choose your partner carefully. |
What Our Users Say About Having An Affair to Save Their Marriage
We understand if you need a little bit more convincing that a married affair could be just what your marriage needs to survive. Here are some testimonials from our users to show you how it can help.
| “After a few false starts, I found IE, which turns out to be the best online dating site for married people. I chatted online with hundreds of married women and met face-to-face with a few of them. IE is unique in providing a safe forum for like-minded people to share their innermost secrets and establish connections. Having an affair has changed my life, since I am now a much kinder, jollier and happier person at home. So, thanks to IE for making this possible!” – RogerG2012 |
| “I joined IE looking for a soulmate and a physical relationship which were both missing from my marriage, not necessarily in that order. I’ve been delighted with the contacts I’ve made and have become good friends with a couple of lovely ladies who have helped me realise, among other things, I still am my old self with a sense of humour intact. Happy I joined IE” – MikeStarringrole |
| “Really like the website. It has been a great experience for me, and as a result, has actually improved my marriage. I have met four people from the site so far and have had fun with all of them, even though I was only attracted to two of them. I like this site and as a woman, I feel confident that the men are genuine. Thanks for a great site, Sara! L x” – Lucy9033 |
| “I love this site – it is the most genuine and honest, meaning the guys are usually what they say they are. I’ve met a few wonderful men that I have had long-term fun with and won’t be leaving in a hurry. It has definitely saved my marriage, and I would be lost without the lovely guys I’ve met on IE. Thank you.” – poppy2011uk |
How Do I Have An Affair Without Ruining My Marriage?
If the idea of a married affair has caught your interest, but you’re worried about how you could make it work without harming your marriage, here are our expert tips to help ensure married dating doesn’t come between you and your spouse.
1. Don’t Neglect Intimacy With Your Partner
Keeping emotional and physical intimacy alive with your partner is so important, even if you’re navigating a married affair. Ignoring these aspects can create distance and resentment, which can really strain your relationship.
By staying connected with your spouse, you’re building a foundation of trust and care that keeps your marriage strong. When you prioritise closeness, your partner feels valued and secure, and it helps keep communication open while avoiding misunderstandings or feelings of neglect.
Remember, the point of a married affair isn’t to replace what you already have – it’s to add to it, enriching both your personal life and your marriage.
2. Don’t Avoid Addressing Issues in Your Troubled Marriage
If your marriage is facing challenges, it’s important not to look at an affair as an escape or a way to avoid the real issues. Ignoring those problems won’t fix anything – it just puts off the hard work needed to heal and grow together.
An affair can’t replace the trust, emotional connection, and effort it takes to repair a relationship. You still need to tackle the issues head-on with honesty and a willingness to work through them to show real commitment and create space for better communication and a stronger future together.
3. Make Sure You’re Discreet in Your Escapades
Discretion is key when it comes to a married affair. It helps avoid unnecessary pain and emotional harm to your spouse and family. Acting recklessly can lead to broken trust and long-term damage for everyone involved.
Being discreet keeps things private, letting you maintain stability at home while respecting your partner. That’s why we focus on privacy at Illicit Encounters to give people a safe space to explore their desires without fear of being exposed.
4. Set Firm Boundaries Between Your Affair & Spouse
It’s important to set clear boundaries between your time with your affair partner and your spouse to avoid unnecessary drama and confusion.
Mixing these two parts of your life can lead to emotional messiness, accidental slip-ups, and hurt feelings all around.
Try to keep things separate – different times, places, and ways of communicating. Don’t talk about your spouse or family with your affair partner, and don’t let the emotions from the affair spill over into your home life.
Let Illicit Encounters Help Revive Your Marriage
Looking to add some excitement to your life? An Illicit Encounters account gives you a secure, discreet way to explore connections outside your marriage. It’s all about privacy and helping you meet like-minded people who are after the same spark.
Who knows—stepping outside the routine might even help you rediscover passion and bring some balance back to your relationship at home.
Sign up for a free Illicit Encounters account today and see where it could take you!
FAQs
When Should You Walk Away From a Marriage?
Knowing when to walk away from a marriage requires recognising persistent unhappiness, lack of trust, or irreconcilable differences, even after efforts to resolve issues. If the relationship consistently harms your well-being, it may be time to prioritise your emotional health.
If you’re in an abusive relationship, there’s plenty of support out there to help you walk away from your marriage and prioritise yourself.
Can You Fix an Unhappy Marriage?
Yes, an unhappy marriage can often be improved through open communication, marriage counselling, and mutual effort. Both partners need to acknowledge the issues and commit to working together to rebuild trust, connection, and satisfaction in the relationship.
What is the No. 1 Rule for Saving Your Marriage?
The No. 1 rule for saving your marriage from divorce is to prioritise honest communication and mutual respect. Both partners must actively listen, address issues together, and nurture the emotional connection to rebuild trust and strengthen the relationship.
Should You Tell Your Spouse About a Married Affair?
It depends on your dynamic and your reasons for telling them. Consider whether sharing will foster healing and honesty or cause unnecessary harm, and take into account the unique circumstances of your relationship.
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