Approximately 4-5% of the American population identify as polyamorous, with many people finding the practice to be immensely fulfilling. But if you’re new to exploring this world of polyamory dating, it might feel a bit overwhelming.
Balancing multiple relationships in polyamory dating can sometimes be a difficult task, especially when you are new to the scene. If you have only ever been in a monogamous relationship style, then you may struggle to adjust to the new change.
Thankfully, there are some helpful tips and tricks that may prove to be beneficial when you are trying to balance multiple romantic relationships.
Let’s explore 10 tips for balancing multiple relationships in polyamory dating.
#1 Respect Everyone’s Boundaries in the Polyamorous Relationship
Respect should be at the core of all loving relationships, and polyamory is no different. The only way that you’ll have a loving and healthy relationship with multiple people is if you respect everyone’s boundaries.
To respect boundaries, you must first have a conversation with each of your partners and establish their boundaries. Open communication is the key to any healthy relationship, so before you move forward with a partner, both of you will need to lay out any and all boundaries you may have.
Once you have had this conversation, you can then start to progress with the relationship.
#2 Always Be Honest About Your Feelings, Good or Bad
Lying or being dishonest about the way you feel will only make a situation worse, so if you are wanting to build happy, healthy, and long-lasting relationships, then you must always be upfront about your feelings.
If there is a situation that you are not entirely happy with, then speak up and have a conversation with your partner about the way you feel. Doing this will allow you to have an open and honest discussion, which means you can get to the root of the issue and resolve any issues quickly.
Sitting on your feelings and being silent will only make your feelings fester and grow, so make sure you practice honesty in all of your relationships.
#3 Keep Communication Open with your Polyamorous Partners
Lack of communication is often one of the leading causes of break-ups, as, without communication, you will start to see a breakdown of trust and respect.
Because lack of communication can be so devastating in monogamous relationships, you can only imagine how bad it can be when there are multiple partners involved. The only way that you can continue to have healthy and loving relationships with all of your partners is if you always practice open communication.
Communication has become even easier in this day and age, so there really is no excuse as to why you are not communicating with your partners.
#4 Schedule in Time for Dating with your Multiple Partners
For many people, the idea of having to juggle multiple partners is something that can seem a little overwhelming, but if you are polyamorous, then you know that this is just part of life.
Scheduling time in advance is a great way of balancing multiple partners, as it means giving everyone equal time and attention.
When the busyness of life gets in the way, it can be difficult to have impromptu meet-ups with your partners, which is why it is a much better idea to schedule your dating in advance. This will show your partners that you are committed to having a relationship with them, ultimately strengthening your bond.
#5 Be Prepared to Deal with Jealousy and Other Difficult Emotions
Many people think that to be polyamorous and have multiple partners, you have to be void of emotions like jealousy – but this is absolutely not the case.
Just because you are polyamorous and you enjoy having multiple partners does not mean that you won’t get jealous every now and then; after all, you are only human.
Accepting that sometimes you will get jealous is an important step in polyamory, as it allows you easily work through those emotions when they do occur.
Relationships can be tricky – even polyamorous ones. So, if you aren’t ready to accept that sometimes you may feel jealous, then perhaps you aren’t quite equipped for a mature relationship.
#6 Don’t Try to Be Everything to Everyone in your Polyamorous Relationship
Another tip that can help you balance multiple relationships is if you accept that you can’t fulfil all of your partners’ every needs.
Being involved in multiple relationships can be a little taxing, so it’s important you understand that – sometimes – you may not be able to support every single one of your partners’ needs.
If you have five partners and you are trying to always be there for them and support them every single waking moment, you will soon start to feel a little exhausted. Therefore, it is important that you know your limits and don’t try and push yourself to commit to too much.
#7 Always Take Some Time Out for Yourself when Polyamorous Dating
Everyone needs a little me time, especially those in polyamorous relationships. Just because you are dating multiple people doesn’t mean that you are available 24/7, so it is important that you find time for yourself when you are dating multiple people.
No one expects you to be emotionally and physically available all the time, so if there are ever any points that you start to feel burnt out or exhausted, then you should take some time out for yourself.
Self-care could mean a number of different things; perhaps you could run a nice hot bath or take yourself out for a solo dinner date one evening.
#8 Understand there are Different Types of Polyamory
Just as there are different types of monogamous relationships, there are also different types of polyamorous relationships.
When you are just starting to get involved in polyamory, it is important that you understand that polyamorous relationships can work differently, depending on the people involved.
What are the Different Types of Polyamory?
If you are unfamiliar with polyamory, you may not have been aware that there are different types of relationship structures. So, what are the different types of polyamory?
- Triad – triad, or throuples, as they are often referred to, is a form of polyamory that involves three people, who are all in a relationship together.
- Solo polyamory – this is when a single polyamorous person has multiple partners, but they do not live together nor do the relationships have a hierarchy.
- Quad – this is when two couples date another couple together.
- Hierarchical poly – there are primary or nesting partners that are all equal but also date other people.
Ethical non-monogamy is very similar to polyamory, but it does not involve the same commitment. People who practice ethical non-monogamy have multiple relationships without any expectations of monogamy from their partners, i.e. you’re not going to get mad when they see someone else.
It is important that you understand the types of polyamory and decide what type of relationship structure works best for you and your partners. Whether that’s non-monogamous dating or standard open relationships.
#9 Know that it’s Okay to Take Some Time Out!
Whether you are new to polyamory or you have been polyamorous for years, it is always important to take some time out when you need it.
Just because you have multiple partners doesn’t mean that you’ll always want to be around someone, so if ever you feel exhausted or emotionally unavailable, make sure that you take some time away from your partners.
Always speak to your partners about this whenever these feelings occur, and give them a heads up that you want some space and time alone. Having some time alone gives you chance to recharge your social battery, which is something that we all need from time to time.
#10 Polyamory Dating isn’t for Everyone…
Everyone is different, so if polyamory isn’t for you, then don’t try and force it! The only way that everyone can be happy in a polyamorous relationships is if every person truly wants the lifestyle.
Suppose your current monogamous partner has suggested opening the relationship to polyamory and you are not comfortable. In that case, it is more than reasonable to say no and walk away from the situation.
Consent is key in any relationship, but perhaps even more so when there is more than one person involved.
Final Thoughts: Our Expert Dating Tips for Balancing Polyamory Dating
It is clear that in order for polyamory to work, there needs to open and honest communication. Of course, this could be said for any type of relationship, but it is particularly important when you are trying to balance multiple partners.
Throughout this article, we have explored 10 tips that can help polyamorous people balance having multiple relationships. If you are considering polyamory or you are currently in a polycule, then we hope these tips have been worthwhile.
Is there a dating site for polyamory?
Illicit Encounters is a married-dating website that would be perfect for couples looking to explore polyamory. Our dating site is super easy to use, and all you need to do is sign-up, create a profile, and you can start chatting with people. There are over 1.5 million members, all looking for different types of relationships – so get chatting!
How long do polyamory relationships last?
As with any type of relationship, it is difficult to give an expiry date. If everyone is communicative and open with their feelings, then polyamorous relationships can last years. This honesty and respect towards each other’s boundaries is what can make polyamory healthy and long-lasting.
How common is polyamory in the UK?
Studies show that polyamory has become quite common in the UK, with 19% of Brits now identifying as polyamorous. The more polyamory is portrayed by the media in a positive light, the easier it becomes for polyamorous people to come out and life their true lives.
Do polyamorous couples get jealous?
If you are an extremely jealous person, then polyamory is not for you. However, that doesn’t mean that some polyamorous people do not get jealous. Jealousy is quite a natural human emotion, so as long as you understand why you are feeling that way and don’t lash out at your partners, you should be fine.