Perhaps you’ve reached the point in your life where you’re looking for a relationship but lack the confidence to leap. You’re not alone; many men suffer from low self-esteem, and it’s something that multiple charities and organisations are working towards addressing.
Suffering from low self-esteem can make dating super difficult, as many men with low self-esteem can struggle with making connections with someone new. Furthermore, when you have low self-esteem, the idea of going on a date can be extremely daunting. Feeling unsure about yourself and your body image can prevent you from putting yourself out there and forming a connection.
The idea that only women can suffer from low self-esteem is an outdated trope. The Chief Executive of the Mental Health Foundation says, “Body image is often seen as an issue that only affects women – but it is clear from our data that it is affecting millions of men in the UK as well”.
Because low self-esteem is often ignored among men, it causes millions to feel like their voice isn’t heard. Although low self-esteem can affect your dating life, thankfully, there are a few tips and tricks that can help men gain confidence while dating. If you want to find out some of our top tips, keep on reading this article!
Self-Confidence Starts With Self-Love
The saying goes, you can’t love someone else until you love yourself. While that might sound cliche, it is a truth in any relationship. If you suffer from low self-esteem, it is likely that you will also struggle with forming relationships. Being unable to love yourself can have a real impact on how you show love to other people, so if you constantly put yourself down, this attitude can be reflected in your love life.
Self-love means being kind to yourself and understanding your worth as an individual; when you feel good about yourself, others will notice too. Often, one of the most important traits people look for in a romantic partner is confidence, so if you are someone who always talks negatively about themselves, potential partners can be put off by this lack of confidence.
Dr Julia Samton (certified neurologist & psychiatrist) states that people with good self-esteem “are more likely to put themselves in challenging situations and pursue new relationships”. If you are constantly worried about what could go wrong, you will be too afraid to take the leap, and it can mean you miss out on some potentially amazing experiences.
Set Realistic Goals for Yourself
It’s important to set achievable goals that will help build your confidence. No one expects you to suddenly have confidence overnight. Building self-confidence is something that can take years, so setting some realistic goals for yourself is a great way of giving yourself something solid to work towards. Having goals can be a very powerful motivator, so this is great dating advice for men with no confidence.
Practice Positive Self-Talk
It’s important to practice positive self-talk to boost your confidence. Words of affirmation can be a very powerful thing. Telling yourself regularly that you love yourself and that you are capable can be a great way of boosting your confidence. Although it may sound strange, saying positive things about yourself out loud can be really beneficial, so why not give it a go and see if it helps?
Take Time Out of Your Day to Unwind
Taking time out of your day to do something you enjoy and relax can help boost your mood and give you a much-needed break. If you have a very stressful life, it is very easy for that stress to pile up and make you feel burnt out.
When you are trying to boost your confidence, you should try and take some time out of your day to relax and unwind. Destressing from the way is an effective way of boosting your mood and making you feel happier.
This shouldn’t just be taken as dating advice for men, but as advice for a happier life in general.
Surround Yourself With Positive People
Surrounding yourself with positive people who bring out the best in you is a great way to bolster your self-confidence. Being around positive people who love you and support you can help you boost your confidence and make you feel happy. If you surround yourself with people who always put you down, it will have serious effects on your mental health.
So, instead, make sure you are hanging around with people who make you feel good.
Test Out Different Dating Sites to Explore Potential Partners
A good piece of dating advice for men who struggle to put themselves out there because of low confidence is to test the waters on various dating sites. Dating in the modern age has never been easier, and there are countless apps and websites that make finding a match super easy. If you struggle with meeting someone in person, then going online is a great way of making a meaningful connection without the awkwardness.
Online dating can provide a safe space for men to practice putting themselves out there without fear of judgement or embarrassment. Meeting someone in a bar or club is not always a pleasant experience, so using the internet to find a date takes away some of that pressure. It means you can practice your flirty conversations without fear of judgement.
No matter what type of relationship you’re looking for, there is more than likely a dating site out there for you. If you’re interested in dating discreetly with a little fun, why not sign up for Illicit Encounters?
Separate Yourself From Your Low Self-Esteem
It is important to separate yourself from the low self-esteem you have been carrying around for so long. You have to remember that other people will not be aware of your insecurities, so you need to stop worrying about what other people think. When you start dating, try and separate yourself from your insecurities and just focus on forming meaningful connections.
Remind yourself that this is not who you are, and your negative thoughts don’t define you. Often insecurities stem from something small but end up building up over time into something bigger. Those negative thoughts do not define who you are as a person, and they shouldn’t interfere with your dating life.
Separate yourself from your negative thoughts and enjoy the world of online dating.
Work on Yourself Before Committing to Someone
It might be a good place to start by focusing on yourself, improving your outlook and working on becoming the version of you that you want to be. No one wants to date someone who is going to be a project; while your partner should support you emotionally, ultimately, it is up to you to make positive changes to your self-esteem.
As part of our dating advice for men, we suggest that before you venture into a new relationship, make sure that you are sure of who you are and what you can offer in a relationship.
When you’re in a healthy place, it’s easier to commit to someone else and make your relationship work. Because you are not focused on yourself and your low self-esteem, you can put more effort into your relationship, which will ultimately lead to a healthy connection with someone.
Your partner should do the same, too; if you are both in a healthy place, it will lead to a more meaningful connection.
Getting into a relationship can be a starting point for improving your self-esteem, but it’s important to ensure you’re at a place where you can handle the responsibility that comes with it. Relationships are not always easy, so if you are unsure whether you can handle that commitment, you should stick to casual dating before you jump into a long-term relationship.
This is good dating advice for both men and women, and it can help everyone develop long-lasting connections.
Be Open and Honest About Your Feelings With Who You’re Dating
Talking about your feelings and being honest about your insecurities is an important step for anyone who struggles with low confidence. When we bottle up our feelings and refuse to talk to anyone about them, those negative feelings will worsen. Talking about your feelings is the best thing you can do, as it gives you a chance to understand what you are feeling.
Letting someone know how you feel can open up a space of understanding and make it easier to move forward together. Within a relationship, it is important that you share how you feel with each other, as this can strengthen your relationship together.
Particularly if you don’t know each other well, it can be a great exercise to talk through your worries and fears together. It is very easy to assume that everyone is doing well, but you may find that through talking about your feelings, you both have similar worries and fears.
Key Takeaways: Genuine Dating Advice for Men to Boost Esteem & Attract Love
It can be comforting to know that millions of men are in the same boat as you when it comes to low self-esteem and dating. Men often feel as if they are alone when it comes to mental health, but it is important to realise that so many other men feel the same way, and you are not the only one who suffers from low self-esteem.
Having a support network is extremely important when it comes to mental health, so you should make sure that you surround yourself with people who make you feel good.
Your mental and physical well-being should always come at the forefront of any life decision, and dating is no exception. When you start dating, you should be open and honest about your feelings about your date and try not to be afraid of being vulnerable. Dating is not always an easy journey, so if at any point you feel as if your mental health is struggling, perhaps take a break from dating and come back when you are ready.
After all, it’s your life, so you are in control!