We’ve all bought into the fairy tale ‘happily ever after’ story at some point in our lives, but it doesn’t always work out that way. While committed relationships can be hard work, they’re also wonderful, so why do people cheat?
We’ve done our research and compiled the top 11 most common reasons why spouses cheat on their partners.
And because an affair doesn’t have to lead to divorce, we’ve also included how the Illicit Encounters platform can help you find yourself again through married dating.
11 Common Reasons for Cheating on a Partner
There are many reasons why someone might choose to engage in an extramarital affair; in fact, it can often be a culmination of multiple reasons that make people finally take the plunge.
Here are 11 of the most common reasons why spouses cheat on their partners.
1) They’re Feeling Bored in Their Relationship
Relationship boredom can sometimes lead to infidelity in marriage, especially in long-term commitments, because partners might feel stuck or unfulfilled.
When daily life gets too predictable, the excitement can fade, making it tempting to look for new experiences outside the relationship.
This craving for something new might make someone seek emotional or physical connections elsewhere just to break away from the monotony.
Partners might feel the need for validation, attention, and excitement that’s missing at home, which could push them to make choices they’d probably avoid if their relationship felt more engaging and lively.
2) They’re Not Getting Attention From Their Partner
Speaking of not getting the attention you need in a relationship, this is another common, primary reason why married people choose to cheat.
When your partner is constantly busy with work, children, or hobbies, it’s easy to feel neglected and unimportant. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction with the relationship.
Without proper communication and effort from both partners to prioritise their connection, one might seek attention and affirmation from others instead of addressing the issue in their current relationship.
3) They’re Feeling Unappreciated
On the flip side, if you’re the one having to spend all your time on parenting, work, or household chores, it’s easy to feel unappreciated by your partner.
When these feelings start creeping in, it’s natural to find the emotional support and love you’re missing elsewhere.
This is especially true when your partner doesn’t seem to notice or care about the effort you put into the relationship, even when you’ve tried to bring it up.
4) They Want Some Variety in Their Life
Variety is the spice of life, as they say, but it is not always easy to find in a marriage.
It is all too common that married couples end up in the same old routine, day in and day out. Choosing to have an affair radically changes everything about your daily life.
You can explore something new with a new partner, hook up in secret, find secret places to meet, and keep a side of yourself hidden from your spouse.
All of this can be just what you were missing from your previous life.
5) They’re Trying to Fill An Emotional Void
An affair doesn’t always have to involve physical intimacy. Many emotional affairs begin as a search to fill an emotional void left by a disconnect in marriage.
When partners feel unacknowledged or misunderstood, they might turn to someone else who seems to provide the empathy and understanding that’s missing.
Emotional affairs often start with innocent conversations and shared experiences, growing deeper as both parties spend more time together.
It’s this emotional fulfilment, rather than sexual attraction, that can draw someone into an affair, highlighting the crucial need for emotional bonds and open communication within relationships.
6) They’ve Been Feeling Unloved
Feeling unloved in a relationship often mirrors the issues of filling an emotional void, compelling a spouse to seek love and affection elsewhere.
This need for emotional connection can result in either an emotional or physical affair as the spouse attempts to find the care and appreciation missing in their marriage.
When you’re in a loveless marriage, the allure of feeling desired and valued by someone else becomes enticing, pushing individuals towards choices they may not otherwise consider if they felt genuinely cherished in their relationship.
7) Their Infidelity is Fueled By Revenge
Revenge sometimes motivates infidelity, especially if a partner feels wronged by their spouse’s earlier affair or misconduct.
This retaliatory action is driven by anger and betrayal, aiming to even the emotional score. The desire to make their partner feel similar pain can overshadow long-term consequences, focusing instead on immediate emotional gratification.
Yet, revenge rarely resolves underlying issues and often exacerbates relationship problems, highlighting the need for communication and healing rather than retaliation.
8) It’s a Situational Thing
Sometimes, affairs happen simply due to circumstances. Picture this: you meet someone who gets you at the office or during a night out when you’re feeling low.
It’s not always about a lack of love at home. It’s about a moment when everything aligns perfectly, like stars crossing paths. Both parties find themselves swept away by unexpected chemistry that might never have been planned.
It’s the lure of spontaneity and chance that sometimes leads people down paths they never expected.
9) They Have a Fear Of Commitment
A fear of commitment can lead to infidelity as some individuals struggle with the permanence and exclusivity of marriage.
This fear might trigger anxiety or a desire to escape, prompting them to seek freedom elsewhere. Infidelity may serve as a temporary relief from these pressures, allowing them to maintain a sense of autonomy.
However, rather than addressing the underlying fears, cheating often complicates relationships further, emphasising the importance of resolving commitment issues before they lead to betrayal.
| Some of the most common times for commitment fear affairs are… 1. After an engagement (yours or a close friend’s) 2. After getting married 3. During pregnancy (or just after birth) |
10) They’re Struggling With Financial Pressures
Financial pressures can severely strain a relationship, leading spouses to seek escapism through infidelity.
The burden of financial responsibility might provoke feelings of inadequacy or failure, making an affair tempting as a means to regain confidence and validation.
These affairs, improperly addressing core issues, suggest the need for financial communication and support within the marriage.
| This is more likely to be a cause of infidelity for men who are sole providers, as they may feel immense pressure to maintain financial stability, which can take a toll on their mental health and self-worth. |
11) They’re Struggling With Sex Addiction
If left untreated, sex addiction can lead to spouses having multiple affairs because of a strong urge to constantly seek new sexual experiences.
This addictive behaviour makes it hard to stay faithful, even when they know it could harm their relationship.
Without proper help – like therapy or support groups – this pattern can continue, making marital issues worse and breaking trust. Tackling the addiction head-on is key to breaking the cycle and bringing stability back to the relationship.
| We’re not qualified to comment on what constitutes a sex addiction. But if you feel you’re struggling, there is help available from organisations like Sex Addicts Anonymous. |
How Illicit Encounters Can Help
At Illicit Encounters, we offer a discreet and secure space for people looking for extramarital connections.
Here, you can meet others who are on the same wavelength and explore emotional or physical needs that might not be being met in your marriage.
These connections can provide a much-needed escape and bring back some excitement to your routine, which might even help relieve stress and revive your marriage in the long run.
By fulfilling personal desires with someone outside your marriage, you might develop a renewed appreciation for your spouse and gain insights into what you truly need to nurture your main relationship, ultimately helping it thrive.
But don’t take our word for it! Check out our customer stories!
| “After a few false starts I found IE, which turns out to be the best online dating site for married people. I chatted online with hundreds of married women and met face-to-face with a few of them. IE is unique in providing a safe forum for like-minded people to share their innermost secrets and establish connections. Having an affair has changed my life, since I am now a much kinder, jollier and happier person at home. So, thanks to IE for making this possible!” – RogerG2012 |
| “I wrote my profile one night and by the next night had received so many wonderful responses. However, one stood out and we met the very next day. I’m now at the start of the most thrilling, romantic affair with the most amazing gentleman. I can’t believe how lucky I’ve been. I have found exactly what I was looking for and more besides. Thank you. X” – Charlotte Bronte |
| “I stumbled upon this site more than 4 years ago, I wasn’t looking for anything in particular, just curious. Chatted to a few blokes but hesitated to meet up as it was a bit scary stepping into the unknown. I started a conversation with one married man who seemed very nice and decided to go for it, this meeting ended up lasting 3 years. I’m glad I decided to take the plunge. It does what it says on the tin! Thanks to IE!” – Charlotte Figroll |
Final Thoughts: Why & How People Have Married Affairs
People cheat for numerous reasons, frequently influenced by specific circumstances. Each scenario is unique, underscoring the complexity and variety of motivations behind such actions, often reflecting deeper issues or personal challenges rather than a simple lack of love or desire.
If you’re interested in exploring an extramarital affair, the Illicit Encounters platform can keep things discreet but exciting to reinvigorate you and your marriage.
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