Affairs are surprisingly common among married couples, and whether you suspect your partner or are considering some extramarital activities yourself, you might be wondering how do affairs start? And why do people engage in them?
It goes without saying that the only way to know how and why a specific affair began is to be one of the people in said affair.
However, there are some common reasons and methods used to start a physical affair and even an emotional affair.
How Often Do Affairs Start?
In the UK, about 20% of married couples have reportedly had an affair, and interestingly, a third of them admit to more than one.
A lot of these affairs kick off during big life changes or when people aren’t feeling too happy with their lives.
Even though the numbers can vary depending on the source, it’s clear that infidelity is a pretty complex but common issue in marriages.
How Do Affairs Start? Common Situations
Considering the ways in which extramarital affairs might happen helps us to understand how they start, and there are more scenarios than you might think.
Let’s have a look at some of the most common ways affairs can start…
1. Affairs Start Slowly, With a Friendship
Sometimes, an affair starts out as just an innocent friendship, with no plans to cross any lines. But as people share interests and keep in touch, it can morph into an emotional connection that starts to blur the lines between being just friends and something more.
As trust builds, folks might begin opening up to each other and sharing personal stuff or struggles, which can lead to a deeper emotional bond.
This slow shift from friendship to intimacy shows how easily things can change, turning a simple companionship into something more complicated.
| These types of affairs often involve people you wouldn’t think were the type of person to be an unfaithful spouse, but the heart wants what the heart wants. |
2. Affairs Can Begin At Work
The term “work wife” or “work husband” is a common workplace joke, but the fact is that people spend a lot of time with their coworkers, which naturally leads to deepening connections.
Over time, “work spouses” might begin to share personal details about their lives, leading to the beginning of an emotional workplace affair. Physical attraction can also play a role in work affairs, especially when there are long hours or travel involved.
3. Flirtation & Attraction Often Lead to an Affair
What starts as innocent flirting can slowly cross lines and turn into something more. A friendly comment or a flirty smile might seem harmless at first, but these little interactions can spark attraction and excitement.
Compliments, shared jokes, and those subtle thrills of mutual attraction often lay the groundwork for more. With technology at everyone’s disposal, things can get even more flirty quickly and with more secrecy through messaging.
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Over time, that casual flirting might grow into more intimate conversations or gestures, such as…
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These small actions can ramp up the feelings of intimacy and attraction, making it easy to shift from harmless interactions to something more serious.
4. Emotional Connection Plays a Huge Role (It’s Not Just About Sex!)
People often think extramarital affairs are all about physical attraction, but emotional connections can be just as important.
Emotional affairs start from forming deep, intimate relationships that meet personal needs in ways a current partnership might not.
When someone feels emotionally unsatisfied or disconnected from their spouse, they might look for reassurance and understanding elsewhere. This search for emotional closeness can lead to sharing personal thoughts and feelings, creating a strong bond.
Unlike fleeting physical attraction, emotional connections can turn to love and attachment, making these extramarital relationships challenging to handle.
5. Similarity in Circumstances Can Promote an Affair
Going through similar situations can really create a strong sense of camaraderie between people, setting the stage for an affair.
When folks face similar challenges or life events, they often find comfort and understanding in each other’s company, which can lead to a deeper bond.
This shared experience can offer validation and empathy they might not get in their current relationships.
Whether it’s dealing with work stress, parenting struggles, or personal losses, having similar experiences can bring people closer, making it feel natural to develop intimacy as they rely on each other for emotional support and connection.
How to Have an Affair & Find an Affair Partner
There are a few common ways people find others to have an affair with. Some are unintentional and a result of happenstance, while others are more intentional and can be used to find partners that are a perfect match.
1) Using Online Married Dating Sites
Online married dating sites (like Illicit Encounters) are getting pretty popular among those looking for a discreet and easy way to have extramarital affairs.
These sites are all about helping people find relationships outside of marriage without worrying about judgment or getting caught.
By joining, you connect with a community of folks who understand the desire to explore beyond their committed relationships, and they want the same level of secrecy and understanding.
These platforms usually have features for privacy, like anonymous browsing and secure messaging, making sure everything stays confidential. Plus, since everyone’s on the same page about wanting a discreet connection, it’s easier to set up mutual boundaries and expectations right from the start.
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Not everyone is suited to having an affair. They are not an alternative to working on or ending a marriage. Not all affairs have a positive effect on a marriage. Some can be very damaging. Always consider other people, and if you are going to have an affair, please select your partner wisely. |
2) Through Mutual Friends in Their Marriage
Mutual friends from your marriage circle can surprisingly turn into the perfect avenue for an affair.
Imagine meeting someone at a dinner party or gathering who instantly clicks with you because of shared interests or values. You already have a natural rapport, and that can spark unexpected chemistry.
As conversations flow freely and connections deepen, it becomes far too easy to start sharing more, inching closer to an emotional or physical affair.
It’s just about being in the right place, with the right person at the right time.
3) Through Workplace Relationships
Spending countless hours at work sets the stage for developing unexpected connections. It’s common for people to find an affair partner among coworkers simply because of the sheer amount of time spent together.
Sharing daily experiences, tackling projects, and facing challenges side by side can naturally deepen bonds. Those innocent coffee breaks or brainstorming sessions might gradually evolve into something more personal.
When you’re with someone day in and day out, those small interactions start to build up, sometimes leading to a connection far beyond professional boundaries.
Summary: How Do Affairs Start? & Where to Find an Affair Partner
Affairs can start for many reasons, often when people feel something’s missing in their current relationship – whether it’s emotional, physical, or a sense of adventure.
Some fear commitment, others want to explore, and some just want to find someone who gets them. These connections can begin through friendships, work, or spontaneous flings.
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If you’re looking for something more, why not check out Illicit Encounters? We provide a safe, private platform for like-minded people to connect, have fun, and get back to feeling like you. Signing up is free (but paid memberships offer extra perks!). Create your profile today and find yourself again! |
Date updated: 11/10/2024


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