Category: Dating Advice

• How ‘Fine’ Became the Most Dangerous Word in Marriage

  “How’s your marriage?” “Fine.” The word should be neutral, but in marital contexts, it’s often a death sentence. Fine means nothing’s actively wrong. Fine means the bills are paid, the children are cared for, there’s no abuse or conflict. Fine also means nothing’s actively right—no passion, no joy, no sense of being truly alive together.…

• Dating After Divorce: Starting Over

  Re-entering the Dating World Post-Marriage Divorce marks an ending, but it also represents a beginning. The prospect of dating again can feel simultaneously exciting and terrifying—especially if you’ve been out of the game for years or even decades, and here at Illicit Encounters we can help ease you back in. Give Yourself Time to Heal…

• When the Excitement Fades: Rekindling Connection in Long-Term Relationships

  There’s a moment that arrives quietly in many marriages. You wake up next to the same person you’ve slept beside for years, maybe decades, and realise you can’t remember the last time you truly saw each other. Not just looked. Saw. The routines have become armour. The predictable conversations—about work stress, shopping lists, the children’s…

• The First Message: What Works and What Doesn’t

  You’ve matched. You’ve looked at their photos. You’ve read their profile (twice). Now you’re staring at the message box wondering what on earth to say. “Hey” feels too generic. A paragraph feels too keen. A GIF feels… lazy? Welcome to the first message dilemma—where promising connections go to die before they’ve even begun. The Problem…

• He Almost Deleted His Profile After Three Flat Coffees. Then He Stopped Auditioning.

  Three flat first coffees nearly made one IllicitEncounters member delete his profile for good. What he changed before the fourth date is advice worth stealing. The third coffee ended the way the first two had: a polite hug outside a Costa in Knutsford, a “lovely to meet you,” and a message two days later that…

• My Lover Keeps Asking About My Husband. How Much Should I Actually Tell Him?

  Your affair partner wants to know all about your marriage. Mia on how much to share, what to hold back, and why oversharing can quietly kill the spark. Dear Mia, I’ve been seeing someone through the site for around four months now, and it’s the happiest I’ve felt in years. The problem is he’s started…

• Monday to Sunday: The Seven Tiny Slip-Ups That Catch Careful Married Daters Out

  Nobody gets caught by one big mistake. It’s seven small ones, spread across an ordinary week. How careful married daters quietly give themselves away. Rob, 46, from Warrington, did everything right. A separate email address. Notifications switched off. Messages deleted the same evening they arrived. He’d read all the guides — quite possibly including ours.…

• Texting vs Calling: What Actually Keeps an Affair Alive Between Meetings

  Texts are safer, calls feel closer. So which one keeps a married affair alive between dates? Mia on getting the risky in-between right without slipping up. Two people meet for coffee on a Tuesday. It’s easy, warm, a little bit thrilling. They part in the car park already half-planning the next one. And then… not…

• Staying Together “For the Kids” Might Be Quietly Teaching Them the Wrong Thing

  Staying in an unhappy marriage for the children feels noble. But what are they really learning about love by watching? An honest look from Illicit Encounters. It’s the line that ends a thousand late-night conversations with yourself. Things aren’t right. They haven’t been right for years. But the children are eight and eleven, and you’d…

• The Kids Have Gone, the House Is Quiet — So Why Do I Feel Lonelier Than Ever?

  This week’s letter comes from J in Hampshire. And if our inbox is anything to go by, she’s speaking for an awful lot of people. The letter “Our youngest left for university last September. Everyone warned me I’d cry for a week, and I did. What nobody warned me about was what came after. The…