42 Sexy Text Messages You Can Actually Send (& Get Them Hot When You’re Apart)

Keeping things hot when you can’t be around each other often can be a challenge when you’re having an affair, but that doesn’t mean you have to let things go stale. With our 42 sexy text messages, you’ll easily keep them hot and bothered.

Whether you’re being kept apart by family commitments, or you’re in a long distance relationship, knowing how to keep things fun over text is key to sustaining your relationship.

We’ve come up with 42 examples of sexy, dirty text messages to send when you want to get freaky from afar.

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Sexy Text Messages to Send Them

We get it, you want to be flirty and sexual with your partner, but if you don’t get to be with each other that often or talk to each other on the phone, you have to learn to be sexy over texts.

Here are some examples of flirty, sexy, and dirty text messages to inspire you or get the conversation started with your beau.

15 Flirty Texts to Open a Sexy Conversation

If it’s your first time initiating a sexy conversation over text, you might want to start things off being flirty rather than jumping straight into the dirty talk

Here are 15 examples of flirty texts to open the conversation.

  1. “Guess what I’m thinking about right now… and yes, it’s about you. 😉” 
  2. “Can I confess something? You’ve been on my mind all day, and it’s driving me crazy.” 
  3. “I just saw something that reminded me of you… care to guess what it was? 😏” 
  4. “If we were together right now, what’s the first thing you’d want to do?” 
  5. “I think I just found your kryptonite… It’s me. 😘” 
  6. “Do you know how hard it is to focus when all I want to do is text you naughty things?” 
  7. “Stop being so irresistible—it’s dangerous for my self-control. 🔥” 
  8. “I bet you look pretty amazing right now… care to send me a preview?” 
  9. “Do you realise how often I catch myself smiling just because of you?” 
  10. “I’m bored over here… want to help me think of something fun to do?” 
  11. “You’re making it really hard for me to be good right now…” 
  12. “How do you manage to make me blush when we’re not even in the same room?” 
  13. “Okay, be honest—are you always this charming, or only when you’re thinking about me?” 
  14. “I dare you to tell me something that’ll completely catch me off guard…” 
  15. “Is it bad that I wish you were here, right now, with no distractions?” 

10 Dirty Text Messages to Get Them Hot & Bothered

If you’re feeling a bit more confident or this isn’t your first rodeo, you might want to make your intentions clear from the get-go

Here are 10 examples of dirty text messages to get them hot and bothered and let them know you want them.

  1. “If I were there right now, what would you want me to do to you?” 
  2. “I can’t stop thinking about last night… care to remind me how good it was?” 
  3. “What’s one thing you’ve been dying for me to do to you?”  
  4. “I could really use some of your attention right about now…” 
  5. “You know, my bed feels way too empty without you in it…” 
  6. “Describe, in detail, what you’d like to do to me right now.” 
  7. “I dare you to send me your naughtiest thought about me.” 
  8. “I might be fully clothed, but I’m still feeling very exposed thinking about you.” 
  9. “Should I tell you what I was dreaming about last night? It definitely involved you.” 
  10. “If I wanted to drive you crazy right now, how would I do it?”

12 Sexy Texts for Long-Distance Partners

Doing long-distance or just not being able to steal time together when you’re having an affair can make sex difficult. But with the right conversation starters, you can initiate a sexy conversation that helps you both get the job done.

  1. “I can’t stop imagining your hands on me right now…” 
  2. “Tell me, what’s the one thing you would do to me if there were no limits?” 
  3. “I just thought of you in the shower… want to know what I was thinking?” 
  4. “Would you like me to send you a picture of what I’m wearing… or what I’m not wearing?” 
  5. “I’m lying in bed, and all I can think about is you.” 
  6. “If you were here right now, what’s the first thing you’d do to me?” 
  7. “Every time my phone buzzes, I can’t help but hope it’s you sending me something naughty.” 
  8. “Imagine me whispering in your ear exactly what I want us to do together.” 
  9. “The thought of you drives me wild… tell me I’m not the only one feeling this way.” 
  10. “Why don’t you describe to me everything you’d want to do if we weren’t so far apart?” 
  11. “I just slipped into something more comfortable… care to guess what it is?” 
  12. “I woke up thinking about you all over me. Shall I tell you every detail?”

5 Naughty Questions to Ask Over Text

If you’re not great at sexy text conversations, keep it simple with a naughty question that lets them take the lead and steer the sexy conversation. Here are 5 examples to get you started.

  1. “What’s the one thing you’ve been dying to try with me but haven’t mentioned yet?” 
  2. “If I were there with you right now, what’s the first thing you’d do to me?” 
  3. “What’s something you’ve imagined us doing together that you’ve never done before?” 
  4. “What’s one secret fantasy of yours that you’d want to share with me?” 
  5. “If you could describe your perfect night with me, how would it start… and end?” 

The Do’s & Don’ts of Sexting an Affair Partner

Sexting, in general, and sexting an affair partner are two completely different kettles of fish! When it comes to the latter, you need to be more cautious and discreet about when and where you’re sending the messages.

Here are our top do’s and don’ts to keep your illicit encounter on the down low!

Can Women Talk Dirty to a Guy?

Of course, women can talk dirty to a guy if they’re comfortable with it and both people are into it. It can be a fun way to build intimacy, amp up the excitement, and bring you closer as a couple.

The key is making sure both of you are on the same page. Talk about what you’re into and set boundaries so it feels good for both of you.

Dirty talk should feel natural and fun, not awkward or forced — it’s about giving them goosebumps, not making your skin crawl.

Put Our Sexy Text Tips Into Action With Illicit Encounters

Illicit Encounters is the perfect place to try out your new sexting skills. With a discreet, like-minded community, you can connect with people who really get the fun of flirty, sensual conversations.

Dive in and enjoy playful chats and spice up your exchanges. Ready to get started? Sign up today and see where it takes you!

FAQs

Are Sexy Messages Good for a Relationship?

Sexy messages can be great for a relationship! They build intimacy, keep things exciting, and show your partner you’re thinking of them. Just be sure to communicate boundaries and ensure both of you are comfortable with it.

How Do You Write a Seductive Message?

Start with a compliment or playful tease, then hint at your desires while keeping it light and fun. 
Use suggestive language without being too explicit, and always tailor your message to your partner’s comfort and shared sense of humour.

How Do You Spice Things Up Over Text?

Start by sharing a cheeky compliment or a playful memory, then introduce something flirty or exciting to try together. Keep it light-hearted, creative, and personal to your dynamic to keep the spark alive over text.

Do Sexy Texts Build Anticipation?

Absolutely! Sexy texts can create a sense of excitement and longing, making your partner eagerly anticipate your next interaction. They keep the connection playful and thrilling, building emotional and physical anticipation in a fun and engaging way.

Can Guys Dirty Talk to Women?

Absolutely! Plenty of women enjoy dirty messages as long as they’re fun, respectful, and in tune with her vibe. Just pay attention to how she responds to keep things enjoyable and build the connection.

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