The Secret (& Not So Secret) Signs of a Workplace Affair

We spend almost 20% of our adult life at work, so it’s no wonder that people form close relationships with the people they work with. After all, they see them more than anyone else. Out of these close relationships, some are likely to turn into something sexual or romantic.

Whether you’re looking out for signs of a workplace affair from your coworkers or you’re engaging in a workplace relationship and want to know how to hide it better, we’re going to look at everything you need to know about keeping your office romance under wraps and exciting.

#1 Verbal Cues & Euphemisms in the Workplace

One of the most common ways someone’s going to rumble your affair at work is through the verbal cues and euphemisms you give to each other. 

Depending on the culture where you work, making suggestive comments towards each other might blend in as office banter, or it might be a telltale sign that something’s going on between you.

How to Hide Your Conversations

Mastering the art of subtle conversation involves using veiled language and coded expressions that have a seemingly innocent surface meaning, while a more personal, flirtatious meaning is understood only by the two of you. 

Another tactic could be to use industry jargon or work-related metaphors inappropriately, which only the two persons involved would understand. Some examples of this include…

• “I enjoyed our last project together” – This would appear as a professional comment about enjoying collaboration on a work project, when really it’s reference to the last private meeting or intimate moment shared between the two of you.
• “Are you working late tonight?” – Seemingly a simple inquiry about work schedules or overtime, but it could be indirect suggestion for a private rendezvous after office hours.
• “I think we should revisit the strategy from last week” – A suggestion to review and possibly revise a work strategy discussed previously with a real meaning of planned personal meeting outside of the official work context, possibly an inside joke.

#2 Non-Verbal Signs of a Workplace Affair

Of course, not all workplace affairs signs are as obvious as double entendres and veiled euphemisms. There are more hidden signs in the form of non-verbal communication that colleagues can pick up on if you’re not careful.

Body Language in the Workplace

Unconscious body language can reveal a workplace affair, even if you’re careful about your words. Subtle nonverbal cues can indicate a deeper connection beyond professionalism. Some common signs of a workplace affair include

• Physical proximity
• Eye contact
• Lingering glances
• Secret smiles
• Shared laughter
• Physical contact like arm or back touching
• Body orientation, even when not speaking directly, suggests an emotional connection. 

Overly conscious management of these signals can also be revealing. Unnatural distance and avoidance of eye contact may indicate a hidden affair.

#3 Digital Communication: Secret Emails & Messages

When it comes to digital communication, like emails and office messaging, the content or frequency can sometimes be signs of your secret dating. Think of it like the modern equivalent of passing notes in school.

It can be tempting to use your email or office messaging system to send intimate messages under the guise of doing work or discussing work-related tasks. It sounds foolproof. 

With that being said, it’s actually incredibly easy to find out whether these messages are appropriate or not, especially for your superiors. If they have access to your work email or messaging, the content of the messages can be the downfall of your affair.

Even if no one has access to your messages, colleagues may begin to notice the frequency of the messages and when messages are being sent. For example, if they’re constantly talking outside of work hours or on weekends, it’s probably not just business.

It’s important to remember that most workplaces can monitor electronic communication, so if you’re trying to keep an office romance a secret, you need to be careful not to leave any digital evidence that could raise suspicions or go against company policies.

#4 Tell Tale Signs At Work Events

Work events, such as parties, conferences, and team-building exercises, can often bring to light underlying workplace relationships that otherwise remain hidden. Here are a few telltale signs to watch out for:

1. Excessive time spent together – If two colleagues consistently gravitate towards each other at every event and spend a significant amount of time together, it may indicate a more than professional relationship.
2. Subtle touches – Just like in the office, physical interactions that go beyond the norm may hint at an affair. These could include brushing against each other, frequent touching, or close body contact that seems more intimate than friendly.
3. Private conversations – If they often disappear for private chats away from the crowd or are seen speaking in hushed whispers, it’s a sign that they have something to hide.
4. Body language – A sudden change in body language when they are around each other could signal an underlying relationship. This could be anything from nervous glances and flushed faces to unexplained happiness or excitement.
5. Avoidance of public interaction – Paradoxically, a deliberate avoidance of interaction at work events could also be a sign of a hidden affair, especially if they interact frequently in the office. This could be an attempt to divert attention from their relationship.
6. Shared transport – Arriving and leaving events together, especially when it’s not on the way for either party, can be another sign.
7. Inside jokes & references – If they frequently share laughter or mutually understand veiled comments that others don’t, they likely share a deeper connection.

Remember, these signs are not definitive proof of an affair but could be indicative of one. It’s essential to make sure you’re as subtle as possible in your interactions, even at these slightly less formal events, if you want to keep your relationship private.

What are the Effects of a Workplace Affair?

Workplace affairs can profoundly impact not only those directly involved but also their colleagues, altering professional dynamics. 

Let’s be honest, office affairs create an awkward atmosphere, and colleagues take sides if things go sour. They can blur professional boundaries, resulting in conflicts, misunderstandings, and breakdowns in communication.

Workplace affairs can often create a ripple effect on team dynamics, fostering an environment that’s unpleasant. When colleagues notice or suspect an affair, it can create mistrust and tension. If the affair involves a superior and a subordinate, it may foster perceptions of favouritism and breed resentment among the team, leading to lower morale and decreased productivity.

This can be particularly disruptive if the affair ends badly, leading to ruptures in the relationships of your team, which can, in turn, affect the ability for collaboration and compromise among colleagues.

Discover more about the consequences of a workplace affair in our blog post.

Conclusion: Discovering the Signs of a Workplace Affair

If you find yourself gravitating towards a workplace affair to get back a missing spark in your life, carefully evaluate whether this is the best for your situation. If things turn south, it might not only affect you and your partner but also have a detrimental effect on your team and work dynamics. 

Instead, consider other ways to explore and reignite the passion in your relationship outside of work. 

Here at Illicit Encounters, we provide a safe and open space for people to explore their desires and find like-minded individuals to connect with. Read our customer testimonials, sign up today, and discover a new world of possibilities.

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